Dearest Human,

I am not a toy, I am not a mannequin, I am not one for your silly amusement.

I am not a poodle.

You may not shear me like a sheep, dye my fur a wacky color, or whatever else it is you do to my beautiful coat and mane that causes you great aesthetic pleasure.

Yes, I may be as ferocious as a lion, but that does not mean I wish to resemble one. Please take heed of this warning, or I will be peeing in your sock drawer, and will stand post outside of your door singing the song of my people at 5 AM. Every morning.

Sincerely,

Your feline. (Now please feed me). And make sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to see an embarrassed cat who hates his haircut strutting his stuff.

Please SHARE these hilariously grumpy cats who hate their stupid haircuts with every cat lover you know!

1. “You will pay for this, human…”

 

2. “You will pay with your life.”

 

3. “I’m not sure what you were going for, human, but it displeases me greatly.”

 

4. “I will destroy everything you love.”

 

5. “We were friends, human, but we are friends no longer.”

 

6. “I am now the laughing stock of the entire animal kingdom.”

 

7. “Why?”

 

8. “You are hilarious, human. Just so funny.”

 

9. “Do I look like a crappy pop star to you?”

 

10. “You think this is funny, do you?”

 

11. “Well, we’ll see who’s laughing when I ‘accidentally’ knock over your mug of scalding coffee onto your legs…”

 

12. “I will cut to ribbons every pair of underwear you own…”

 

13. “I wish nothing but ill fortune to befall you.”

 

14. “Your efforts to beautify me are but dismal failures.”

 

15. “I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger.”

 

16. “But seriously, you’re going to owe me like 100 catnip toys for this…”